Life throws you all kinds of curve balls some are strike and some we manage to hit to the fence. Sometimes we walk and pass the opportunity but with a good eye on the prize. Sometimes we sacrifice ourselves for the better of everyone involved. And for those of you that aren't sports fans you are lost. Let me clarify…

In life we don't usually get to go from point a to point b without pit stops along the way. Sometimes they are good. Sometimes they are bad. Sometimes we don't even know we are taking the long way. Sometimes we are so focused on one aspect we lose site of the overall picture until something small happens and you are brought back to the path.

Over the last 2.5 years I've done nothing but focus on me and my recovery. Both physically and mentally that I haven't focused on anything else. The only problems I looked to solve was how I was going to get stronger. Along the way I kept my friends close but didn't really let people in. I left people behind if they didn't push me to be better or understood the daily push that needed to happen in order to get ahead.

I have found that I'd become closed off and trying to find the life I had before everything went south. What I came to realize is that my life will never be the way it used to. I will never get back to the way I was before all this happened. But why would I want to go there again. Going back to an easier time may be fun but where would we learn the hard life lessons and how would we get to a place where you have never been happier.

Hitting major physical goals has helped me hit mental and emotional growth I never thought could happen. I have gotten to a place where I can be happy where I am. I have gotten to a place where I can accept the hand dealt and play the game. It's not always a walk in the park but winning a game is always more exciting when you hit the home run instead of getting the home by error. Beating the best is better than beating the weak. Winning the battles that should break you only prepares you for what's to come.

Without the struggle I wouldn't be in a position that I could begin to open myself up and trust the people around me to share in my triumphs. To find people who know your struggles accept you anyways as push your limits. Push you passed your fears and show you how much you can achieve you just have to keep going. Don't stop. Push the line of fear. Challenge yourself and you will see just how far you can go.

Open yourself up and give yourself the chance to show the world all that you are made of. Find your happy and trust it will be ok.
Just don't ever stop believing. Never accept the limit. Aim for the fences!

For two years I’ve been on a journey at the gym where I have reached many goals and I’ve struggled through many set backs and injury but one thing that always got me through was knowing that if I embraced the suck I would come out stronger. 

Recently, I have been feeling extremely tired and my eye has been irritated. I’ve never considered myself a person who was sick or disabled. I have always considered it just a small challenge I had to deal with differently than others around me. However, lately it has been a struggle. It has been scary I have been afraid I’d wake up the same way I was two years ago or worse. I have been afraid I may not be doing enough to actually keep myself okay. I had to accept that although it was a long weekend and everyone was going out to do something fun I was staying home and resting because my body just couldn’t do any more than sit and sleep. I spent Canada day taking four separate naps and only leaving my house to go outside and watch the fire works my neighbourhood sets off. 

At first I was angry and frustrated that this was all my body could handle but after spending a weekend doing very little and reflecting at the terry fox I realized that this was what my body needed in order to let me continue living a life I want. I was able to stay out and about two nights in a row that otherwise I would not have made it through had I not rested. I was able to spontaneously go with my girls to the states and watch the 4th of July fireworks just because. 

Embracing the suck is really something that Ive learned to live by.  I feel in order to really appreciate and be excited for something you must have struggle and something to overcome. Some days the biggest achievement you might have is getting through the day without too much struggle. Other days you might be able to conquer the world. But on those days you can conquer the world think about those struggles you have experience and pushed through to get you to that point. Everything we do every day gets us what we want. It’s okay to wake up and not want to adult. It’s okay to wake up and not have any extra energy to give. But don’t let that be your every day. Take a break. Rest your body mentally and physically. Escape the negative and embrace the suck but let it power you and push you to achieve awesome. 

Never stop trying to become the best you you can be. Make today your day.