Sometimes you wake up and you feel tired and it would be so easy to hit snooze and roll over and go back to bed. It would be so easy to just give up and not even bother. So easy to just say f it I’ll do it tomorrow. 

Butttt! There is nothing better than the feeling of accomplishment when you ignore those thoughts and you get up and you get what needs to be done. Today I really wanted to roll over and go back to bed. But I didn’t I got up. I put on the work out clothes on. I got into my car and I drove to the gym. I was tired and slow moving when I got onto the rower but once I finished the ten minutes I was ready to go. Once josh started giving me the exercises I was waking up and now I feel on fire. I feel ready to take on the entire day. I feel ready to power through and get what needs to be done done. 

The choices we make and the voices we decide to listen to dictate the day. If I had given it and decided to not get out of bed and slept longer I would have regretted it. I would have to fuel my body with coffee and drag my way through the day. Instead I feel ready to take on the day without coffee. 

Deciding to not give into the doubt. Not give in to the voice saying you can do it tomorrow and do the best for your body is the way to go. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to take breaks but it’s not okay to keep pushing what you could do today til tomorrow. Because the excuses will keep piling up and you will keep pushing things til tomorrow. Do it today. Do it and thank yourself for doing it. You will be stronger and better off for doing it today instead of waiting. There is no better time than the present. 

May 22nd, 2015 was a day that was full of emotions that I am feeling again as I look back and remember. 

On this day 2 years ago my life was starting over. I spent 72 days in the hospital. 72 days of fighting, training, crying, smiling, working my butt off to walk out of the doors of the hospital. To do what I was told wasn’t going to be possible. I walked into the unknown. I walked into my new apartment in a new area of town and I learned to live on my own. I learned to fight for me and I continued to work hard to achieve my life back. 

One year ago I was different from the girl who walked out of the hospital. I had pushed myself to be better. I had flutters in my fingers. I had half way finished my graduate program. I was working my first job in my field of work. I still had big goals to achieve and lots of work to get to. 

Today I reflect on the past day, weekend, month and year. 

I started the day feeling kind of sad becuase I couldn’t go fishing because my arm was so sore and tired from catching fish the past two days. But now I think about how far I’ve come and how this time last year I would have struggled to even bring in one fish never mind the multiple fish I brought into the boat. 

In the past year I’ve learned to skate again. I’ve learned to do a push up. I’ve learned to push myself and I’ve gotten so much stronger. I’ve learned to control my hand and make it more functional than it has ever been before. I’ve trusted the process. I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am. I’ve trusted josh to push me and help me to become stronger than I have ever been before. I do things today I never thought I’d ever do again. 

I’ve learned that nothing is impossible. If you want something bad enough you will achieve it. You just have to trust the process and be willing to push through the tough stuff to get to the other side. It’s not always easy but it is worth it. I promise that no matter what it is you are fighting that when you win, whether a small win or a big win, it is worth celebrating. 

It’s crazy that two years have gone by. It feels like yesterday but it also feels like ten years ago. It’s been a crazy uphill battle but the many small wins I have achieved make it all worth it! I’ve had wins both physically and mentally. Physically I have achieved plenty. Mentally I’ve achieved self love. The love of travel. I’ve explored. I’ve been to concerts. I spent the best weekend in Toronto watching three jays games and a raptors game. I’ve graduated with another degree. I’ve done the unthinkable. Ive told my story and tried to inspire others to never give up. I’ve done the things they told me I couldn’t do. I’ve done things  I never thought I could do. 

So here’s to the years that have gone and here are to the year ahead! Here’s to never giving up and always fighting. Nothing great was ever easy. 

Ever feel like your life is just spinning and happening in front of you and you just don’t know how to get off the crazy ride…. 

this is how I have been feeling… I started a new job in February that has been one of the largest learning curves and the faster pace I’ve ever worked at. I come home feeling mentally and physically exhausted. Then you add on top of the all the other commitments and life living things you gotta do and the time seeems to go even faster. 

I’ve beeen mentally struggling to keep up with all my commitments. I felt like my glass was empty and I couldn’t fill it while filling everyone else’s cups around me. I was feeling pretty defeated and my mind raced with ways to escape and ground myself.  

Being a small town girl who never really lived in a city until adulthood I find the need for nature and calmness. I am one of those people that find Thunder Bay large and busy. I find it hard to escape and find quiet. Today I was feel exceptionally fidgety and needing to run and be free…

So that’s what I did. I escaped. I drove and I drove and I drove… 

what started out as a seemingly easy meeting with my friend to get a gym membership turned into a soul nurturing renewing of the faith trip. 

We were five minutes from home and had a quick fifteen minute meeting easy to just go home after but as I had mentioned I had the need to escape. I had decided if my friend didn’t need to go home right away to drive to the other side of town to get gas. After gas I decided to show her the rink I always timekeep at and once there I figured we should take the long way home. We turned the opposite way from town down back roads and weaved are way through the country. We found peace, quiet and beauty. We found rivers and horses and saw mountains and trees. We were silent and we were telling stories healing from the past. We were lost in nature down back roads not knowing where we were headed. It was freeing. We ended up at kakabecka falls where we got out and walked around the falls. Experienced the power of the water and walked through the paths. Saw a bunny and took in the vitamin D from the sun. We got hungry and stopped in to have the best burger I’ve ever eaten and further talked and sat in comfortable silence. After stuffing our stomachs we headed back out. Again not down the straight path home but back on the winding back roads in the quiet…

4 hours later and 100 km I feel renewed. I feel ready to tackle the weeks obsticals. I feel a sense of calm and peace of mind for the first time in awhile. 

I reminded myself how important it is to just stop and to breath. I reminded myself how much I loved driving with no destination in mind down the back country roads. I used to do it daily back home and haven’t in forever. It was definitely needed. I feel a weight off my shoulders. I feel like this evening was important. I feel it’s good to just stop. Breath and do something spontaneous without a plan without expectation just dream and go with where you soul takes you. My mind and body needed the quiet. Needed the peace and beauty of nature. 

Stop and take a breath. Stop filling everyone’s cup up before your own. You are number one. You need a full cup in order to give. I have a lot to give and I care too much but It was important to go out and do me. Be present in the moment. Let yourself experience the adventure. Don’t just watch your life spin and spin. Slow it down. 

Breath in nature 

Life is a journey and you got to be able to roll with the good and the bad and find success every day. 

I’ve been slacking on the blogging because I haven’t felt inspired. But today my inspiration is back and I figured I should put words out. 

Day 1. Day 1 of a new month. Day 1 of a new week. Day 1 of my fitness journey take 500. 

The best part of the lifestyle I choose to lead which is an active physical lifestyle as well as a mental healthy life style is that no matter what happens I get to jump back on the train and know that I will be stronger than yesterday. 

Today was a Monday. It has been my motto to never miss a Monday. Today happened to be a workout with josh. Which also happen to be my best workouts. I always seem to strive for more when I’m being pushed and encouraged by him. Either way today also marks the beginning of my pledge to stay on track for the month of may. You see I’ve fallen off the beaten path and took some detours ate some delicious food and traveled and slacked on my workouts. All it really got me was an upset stomach and very irritable. But here’s the thing. My journey and my way of life is that each day I strive to be better than I was yesterday. 

I fight each day to be a better person and stronger both physically and mentally. Recently I started publicly speaking my story to help encourage others. Public speaking is much more different than hiding behind my computer screen writing this. But being able to speak and motivate has really inspired me. Being able to reach someone and help them makes me know that I am doing the right thing. 

Today was day 1. Day 1 is always the hardest. Getting back on track is tough but I know I can do it because I’ve done it before. I am stronger today than I was yesterday and tomorrow I will be even stronger. 

Win that mental battle. Starting a new job has been stressful and absolutely exhausting but I always have a better day after a solid workout. It gives me the energy to fuel my day. I know that working out isn’t for everyone but in order to mentally be healthy you have to find a way to relieve your stress. For me that is by physically sweating that stress away. Giving myself that time to do me. To push my body in ways it’s never been pushed. To achieve things that were not even on the radar before. To feel better and more confident that I’ve ever felt. 

Find that something. Find that place that makes you feel absolutely stress free. You deserve it. You were not put on this earth to work every day and serve everyone else. This is your life and you have to live it. Fill your glass before you fill everyone else’s. If you consistently fill everyone else’s glass before your own you soon will have nothing left to give. Find that time for you. Whether you have to wake up 30 minutes earlier  than do it. Trust me I wasn’t a morning person before. But I know that if I give me time to wake up and do me. Rather than sleep and rush to get ready for work my day will be a lot better. 

Starting the day off with a workout or ten minutes of reading can really change the course of the day. It’s hard to be positive. Sometimes you have to start small. Find positives within periods of time and soon everything will fall into place. 

So whether today is day one day 30 day 365 or you haven’t quite started know that tomorrow you will wake up and have the choose to start or continue. Tomorrow is a new day and you get to leave today’s troubles in the past. You may not physically be ready to begin but start the mental process because the mental fight is the hardest part. You can always always start again. No matter how far you fall you can always stand back up and dust yourself off! The best part is knowing you’ve done it before so there is no reason you won’t be able to do it again! 

And for those days you just aren’t sure you can do it. Put on your superhero shirt and find that power of will and realize you can do!!!