So today marks my 26th year and 25 was one hell of a year. I learned to run. I’ve learned to skate again. I’ve accomplished a push up. I graduated university. I became a registered kinesiologist. I made so many amazing memories with so many wonderful people. I cannot see where the next year goes. 

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned this past year is to love myself. Every part of myself. To push myself passed any barrier that might come in my way and to overcome it all. I have learned that nothing can stop you except the negative words you say to yourself. I threw out the word can’t. I learned to see progress and be proud every single day of something I did. 

I sit here and reflect and the last 365 days have been crazy. Some ask what does one do on their birthday to celebrate and I give the simple answer if I will hit the gym at 7 am and I will coach my bootcampers through there workout tonight. 

I have found happiness in the gym. I have found happiness in coaching. I have started a new job that keeps me on my toes and always allows me to learn something new every day. 

I have the best friends a girl could ask for. Without them my life would be boring but they bring the adventure and always make everything exciting. I cannot wait to see where everything goes from here. 

My inspiration for you the reader is this. Fall in love with yourself. Be happy with who you are. Look yourself in the mirror and say one thing you love about yourself every day. Changing that mindset makes everything so much more worth it. When you are kind to yourself everything falls into place. 

Loveee 

Now go squat and wine later 

March 10th a day that will forever be etched in my memory. A day where I was forever changed. A day that was extremely scary and the future was unknown but a day I will forever be grateful because the girl who came out on the other side is so much better off because of it. 

A little recap…in late February I was diagnosed with optic neuritis and was losing control of my right leg. On March 9th I was medicated pretty well stuck in bed but did my last hockey game of the season. I was completely blind in my left eye. I could barely move my right leg but I wasn’t missing the game. I told people I was fine and I would get better little did I know I would get worse before getting better. March 10th 2015. I woke up to take my medication and could not feel or move my arm. I thought I must have slept on it funny and I waited and waited for it to wake up. It didn’t wake up. I crawled out of bed and I dragged my useless right side of my body down the stairs  to the kitchen to see cliff. I told him and he told me we had to go to the hospital. Obviously I didn’t want to do this and told him he had to call laurel instead. If she said we had to go then we’d go. Of course she said I had to go…and when I made it through those doors of the ER I didn’t make it back out of them for 10 weeks….

2 years later I can’t believe how far I have come. From being told I would never walk again and I should pick out my wheel chair to know and all that I have accomplished I can say the power of will is an amazing thing. 

I’m not saying it was easy because this journey has been one of the hardest journeys I have ever gone on but I can tell you it’s been the most eye opening adventure. I have learned that I am stronger than I could have imagined. That I can conquer just about anything I put my mind to and that I always will succeed. 

In the two years since I went into the hospital I have graduated college and university. I have become a registered kinesiologist and have worked my first job. 

I have walked I have run and I have SKATED. I have worked out and gained a routine that works for me. I have lost almost all hospital related weight and feel amazing. I have completed a bootcamp and now coach the bootcamp. I have learned to do a push up. I am close to a pull up. I push the sled. And every wednesday I workout with josh my mind is blown at the crazy things I can do!  We’ve got my hand back for a whole day! TWICE!! 

I’ve developed friendships with people and have gone on many great adventures. Concerts, races, hikes, camping, swimming, skating with katie and her kids (a day I never thought would come). 

All of this was possible because I refused to give up. I refused to back down and I refused to let my disability beat me. I did cry. I did get angry but I worked and I never stopped trying. It was hard but I honestly left it all on the floor and continue to every day. 

When I got to the rehab hospital I did my therapy seven days a week. When I missed my therapy on the weekend I made the rehab assistant (who happened to be a friend) leave the tools I needed in my room so I could do my exercises when I got back. My neighbour thought I was crazy but I knew that the only way I could achieve the things I wanted in life was by working hard and doing the time. When I started working with josh I didn’t know what we would manage together but I will forever be grateful for the time we have. The work that we have done has lead me to walk without a brace, take stairs, run, skate and soon my hand and a pull up! Without his knowledge and my sweat and hard work none of that would have been possible. The way the system works when I left therapy I wore a brace on my ankle and one on my wrist and without josh I believe I’d still be that way. 

Telling yourself constantly that you can do something and you will achieve something is half the battle. Never giving up is so rewarding. You never know what your body can handle until you put it to the test. For me a wheel chair just wasn’t something I could see myself dealing with. I told the doctors there was no way I wasn’t walking out of the hospital. I was right. 

The support system I have had throughout this whole journey also has played a massive role in my recovery. I lied and hid my hospital stay to many people for a long time but the ones that showed up and stayed when I finally told them are the real winners. From the food to the coffee to the rides to the emotional support this journey wasn’t something I could fully do on my own. 

Finding a hero and then making yourself your own hero is part of the journey. Batman was the hero I needed until I realized the strength I had within myself to overcome this mountain. If you are ever finding yourself unable to move forward find a hero. Think about what is needed for that hero to succeeed and embody that. Find the will to fight. Don’t ever give up. Push yourself. Find the limit and then push past that limit. Never stop working. Always keep improving. Don’t let what others say hold you back. Focus. Cry. Get angry. But use those emotions to fight. Fight for you. Battle the you from yesterday. Spend each day trying to one up yourself from yesterday. It’s you vs you every day. Nobody else matters in this journey to be your best self. Only you matter so why fight anyone else but you from yesterday. 

Be strong and life each day to the fullest. You don’t know what will happen tomorrow so why not start today!!! 

*sorry this was so long. And I felt like I rambled but I got emotional* 

It has almost been a month since my last workout alone and just when I thought I’d be getting back at it. I slip on some ice and throw out my back. 

While cancelling the gym and reaching out to my trainer he spoke words that meant more than I could comprehend at the time. He said every exercise program has a deload phase where you take a week off and rest your body so you are ready to begin again. 

This advice has been golden in both my fitness journey but in life in general. I need to deload and press restart and this week is a good week for it. 

This is my last week at my current job and I start my new full time job on Monday so what better week to deload refocus on my goals and be the best me I can to take this next step in my journey. 

What I didn’t realize was that taking time out for me and just doing nothing could be so relaxing and so refreshing. 

I want to be someone who is successful and who always comes out on top but we cannot do that without falling a few times on the way. I may have stumbled and crashed but I will succeed becuase I am determined. I’ve changed my mindset to not realize that this was a set back but a plea for rest. I have pushed and pushed my body that a week off from the rink and the gym are necessary. 

In replacement I have binged on tv and have started reading personal development. I watched a video presented by a mentor to me and life really is more than just getting that workout it. It’s about loving you and who you are. I am a hard worker and I love my workout but I also need to learn to love rest and relaxation because sometimes we need a break and recharge the battery. 

So self love. Rest and relax your body. Give it what it needs in order to succeed. I look forward to getting back in the gym and working out. But I will embrace this rest and recharge my mind so it is ready when my body is ready to get back at it.