Doubters are all around us, whether it be medical professionals, family, friends, co-workers, classmates and even yourself can place doubt on what you can and cannot do! How do we overcome this?

In my journey, I have been told I would not do things many times. I was told on numerous occasions that I would never walk again. This doubt is a lot to deal with it places great deal of pressure on yourself and people see you differently. I remember doubting in my own ability to walk again because I was constantly told I wouldn’t. What made it even more difficult was that knowing this made people look at me differently. Although my close family and friends didn’t doubt me I felt as though they were feeling sorry for me and looking down on me. The doubt in myself to finish school, learn to walk, and have a normal life really started to slip away. This was a dark time in my life!

One day in class we were sitting there and our teacher had come up to me before class warning me that the video she was going to show may affect me. The video was of a man who was told he would never walk again and he started little by little every day working towards his goal and at the end of the video you watch him run down the street. My teacher was right it did affect me! I cried and many people in my class during the video looked at me and offerd silent support. Something in me that day did change I knew that I had to do something and work towards my goals. I told my teacher that day that one day I would run down the street I just did not know when that would be.

That same teacher through my third and fourth years of university really pushed me and challenged me. One day she asked our class what we value the most in life and I did not want to answer because I was not sure. I remember listening to other people say they valued their health and their ability to workout and walk and I remember running out of class crying. These were some tough times. I remember sitting in this professors office crying my frustrations out but she always believed in me even when I doubted myself entirely.

After my stay in the hospital I did not know what I was going to do with my life I felt with my limitations my career choices of being a Kinesiologist and a Therapeutic Recreationist were behind me. I sat down with this professor who was about to go on maternity leave and she motiationally interviewed me into realizing that I should take an extra year of school and find what I can do because I was right where I belong. This professor had a big place in my life, she may not even realize it but so many times she has changed my life and taught me to love and believe in myself.

Doubt still creeps in from time to time but it is important to push it aside. There will always be someone that will put doubt into your mind and tell you that you won’t be able to achieve your goal, whether it be your goal to lose weight, start a new career, go back to school. The most important suggestion I can make is to surround yourself with people who believe in you. Who push you to be the best you! Who only bring positivity to your life and make you want to be the best!

Your goals can only be obtained when you push your doubt aside. So start today believe in yourself, know that you can do whatever you put your mind to. Set goals, make them realistic and get out and achieve them. Prove the doubters wrong because let me tell you nothing is more satisfying. If I could send a picture of me walking, running, or sliding across the sliding board at the gym to the knee surgeon who told me he would never be able to fix my knee and that I would never walk again would be one of the best moments.

You only get one life to live and do what you want when you want and I am so glad I went through the struggle to get where I am today because I appreciate the journey so much more. I wouldn’t change anything because now I know that I can overcome anything!!

Special shout out to those who stuck beside me even at some of my darkest times because you helped me see the light and change my mind on doubting myself!

As I sit in the airport at 5 in the morning I was compelled to write a post about never giving up. Yesterday was a huge day for me and I’ll start with sharing that. 

Six weeks ago I joined the worlds best bootcamp not really sure what I was getting myself into and not sure if I was really ready for this bootcamp. Both mentally and physically I struggled but I know I wanted to do something. I went on the Saturday of thanksgiving for baseline tests. I did mediocre at best and wasn’t overly impressed with my measurements. I decided to dedicate myself to the process to not give up when it got hard and to get through it. 

The baseline workout included skipping, squats (hey I can squat) sit ups, push ups (ya right) and burpees (my enemy). Needless to say in the ten minutes we were given to complete this I did not. I left feeling kind of down but knew by the end I would finish it. Maybe shave off a minute or two from my time. 

Through the six weeks I struggled to find my pace. I struggled with feelings of doubt and not being good enough to keep up. But with the help in support from the ladies and Al in my troop we were on fire. Yesterday when I went and did my baseline and graduation measurements a couple days early becuase I would be leaving town I can’t even begin to express the feelings I had about the work out. 

Now wednesdays are tough for me as I meet with my friend who trains me in the morning and then I have to go to bootcamp at night but I got myself there ready to go. 

We did the measurements the one minute max tests and the baseline. After all was said and done I went and ran my laps and completed the workout with the class. After class we learned my results. I managed to get down 11.5 inches and got my time to 7 minutes and 10 seconds!!!!!!!! Absolutely crazy what you can achieve when you put your mind to something and commit yourself. If you never give up and strive for the best self you can really do anything. It won’t be easy but you will do it! 

In the words of Marcus Stroman “I can’t lie I’ve been on a mission to make all the doubters eat their words up in the kitchen…legendary comeback!” 

Don’t ever give up on your dreams because you can do everything your heart desires! Get yourself in the right mindset and you will achieve greatness! ❤️?

The past six weeks I have been running on a high! I have been hitting goals and losing the inches and weight and feeling good but it has not always been that way.

Through university, I dealt with ups and downs constantly. I would have good days and weeks and then I would slip and fall or I would blow my knee out bad and end up back at the beginning. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I re-learned how to walk! One thing I learned is that no matter what you cannot give up you have to keep trying.

On my 21st birthday all I wanted to do was take a few steps. It was a tough goal to reach and on the day my physiotherapist and her student held me up on either side and I took a few steps. Although it was not my actual goal, I did not give up hope.

The last year has been extremely difficult for me. After being hospitalized and having to fight what felt like everyone to learn how to walk again and trying to figure out who I was and am I kind of feel like I had lost myself. I had gained weight and ended up weighing the most I have ever weighed. I was not hitting goals, school ended, my contract ended and I felt even more lost.

I have always been an active person and super nerd and have spent years studying and doing homework. When September came around I did not know what to do and really struggled. To me, my struggles almost felt ten times more than it had been for the last year. I always knew I had these struggles but when you have nothing else to focus on the struggles seem bigger. I hated looking in a mirror and seeing who I was becoming (physically and mentally). I knew I needed a change and that is when I started looking harder.

Realizing that I had a big trip coming up I decided that I needed to get serious and get myself back on track. On October 1st I decided that this was it. I started working out again and eating better, the first few weeks were tough and I struggled when the alarm went off to get up and get going but eventually it did become easier. Now if I miss a work out I think about it and want to get it done. Hearing people say “I can tell you are losing weight” has been huge for me, especially since this time last year I had been asked if I was pregnant due to the fact that they had never seen me that large before.

Today, I can proudly say that I am feeling more confident in myself and that I can finally see the me I want to be. But one key point is realizing that I can do whatever I want. For awhile I used the excuse I was in the hospital of course I gained weight, or Oh I just learned how to walk I will never be able to get back to the way I was. I pretty must threw myself a pity party. But the pity party is over. For me to conquer the physical obstacles have really helped me to conquer the mental battles. I know last post I said mindset was everything and you can achieve everything by having a good mindset sometimes you have to push yourself physically to get to the mental mindset.

For days I pushed myself to get up and workout because I had the mindset that it needed to be done, that I had to do something. But now that I physically can get up and do the workout, the mental mindset has changed from you need to do this, to you can do this and you will be way happier than you were without the workout.

One thing I have learned this past week though is that you have to plan in order to succeed because without a plan failure is easy. I did not miss a workout for six weeks except for active rest days. This week came around and I went out, drank too much, didn’t get any sleep and missed my meal prep Sunday. This resulted in McDonalds for lunch and Subway for lunches during the week because I did not have anything prepped. Missed my workout Monday because I was still hung over I swear which was difficult for me even though I did the senior workouts with my clients I did not feel like this was enough. Finally on Tuesday I knew I had to do something. I reached out to an amazing friend who is also on a fitness journy and told her that I was going to crush a workout at 4pm when I was home from work. She said good and send me a message when you do it. This held me accountable to my plan to do the workout. I did not want to do the workout a nap might have been better but I still need to reinforce myself to not have any setbacks. At 420 when I got home I was running late but I had made the promise. I texted my accountability and snapped my after photo! All it took was that one workout to get back into the swing of things.

Life is busy but we need to plan to succeed and embrace the set backs use them and move forward. This goes for anything doesn’t even have to be fitness. I use physical activity and achieving goals as a way to help my mental health because there is nothing more satisfying in accomplishing a goal that accomplishing something you were told you would never do but it can be anything. It can be graduating university, it can be getting that promotion at work, it can be waking up a little earlier and becoming more of a morning person. If we take the time to plan ahead, have an automatic coffee maker, meal prep for the week, set alarms and times with friends to hit those goals nothing will stop you.

Do not let the set back stop you. We all fall down and if you fall down seven times make sure to get up eight. Show life that you will bounce back!! Never stay down because life goes until that final bell and we got to keep fighting.

Mindset really is everything and for those who don’t really know me or have not been along for the entire journey, you may think that I was always positive and ready to go. Unfortunately, this was not the case.

In my personal experience, I believe the mental challenged I had to overcome to get where I am today were harder than the physical battle I fight daily. When you get constantly told that you will never walk again that there is nothing they can do for your pain, you fail exams or struggle with school because you are higher than a kite on pain medication trying to survive the day being positive can be extremely difficult. Lucky for me I had some great friends to show me the way.

I was lucky enough in university to have a great friend who fought the battles with me. From picking me up for school so that I did not have to crutch to the bus stop to helping me study even though she studied better alone! I also met people along the way at the right time to help me battle the mental aspects of my challenges.

I am a firm believe that we are never given more than we can handle but with a twist. I believe that our bodies can physically get through anything but sometimes we need a push and someone to run along side us to get through the mental game.

When I was in the hospital unable to move my right side of my body only a few people saw the real me. I put on a brave face for a number of people brushed everything off like it was nothing but deep down I was scared and I was feeling angry with life because it was not fair that I just learned to walk again and now I was back confined to a wheelchair. I struggled with doctors not believing there was anything wrong with me, I struggled with being stuck inside without seeing outside air for almost 17 days! I struggled with hot flashes, pain, nausea, and my biggest struggle was my loss of dignity. Being lifted off the toilet and showered by nurses who are your age or younger was one of the toughest things I had to deal with and was extremely difficult on my mental health. Unfortunately, most people don’t fully understand this situation and can only offer empty encouraging words because they have not been in this situation before, but I was lucky enough to have had a friend who had lived in the hospital and dealt with the same things I had, even though I wished he never had to experience the hospital life it was comforting to have him around.

Before the hospital, Manny was a guy I had known through friends and had met him a few times at some parties. On my 24th birthday, which started with a 730 am needle poke and wake up call from the nurses I was feeling pretty down! I got my new wrist name tag so that it said I was 24 and not 23 anymore which was a big deal for me. I got a day pass and I was on my way. First, the wheel chair didn’t fit into the car and I couldn’t even go home because I would never get up the stairs to my room. This was mentally tough on me. I had been in the hospital for 19 days and had not told many people because I was embarrassed and didn’t want my friends to take pity on me. I decided I could no longer do this on my own. I mean I  had support from my closest friends and family but I needed more. I reached out to Manny and let it all out there and I will never forget the words he spoke to me and from that day forward, my mindset change and I will never let myself back into that dark place again. As I sit here and write this thinking about how big a part Manny played in my recovery I cry. I cry tears of happiness that in such a terrible time a great friendship could be formed but I also cry because I am scared to think of what would have happened without his encouraging words and my hospital decorations.

The day I reached out to Manny he came to visit and decorated my room. He brought a Batman which sat on my window sill and in every room I moved to as it had done for him. (That Batman has seen one too many hospital rooms) He also hung a banner that said “courage not the absence of fear or despair but the strength to conquer them”. From that day forward I used Batman as a hero until I learned to be my own hero. From that day forward I let people in and I let people see me at my weakest. I made stronger friendships out of people I knew and I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I still have tough days but waking up and believing in yourself is half the battle.

It is okay to be scared, sad, and fearful as long as you look for a way to overcome those. The power of will is in my opinion, the strongest emotional force there is. If you believe you can do something and reach deep down inside of yourself you will achieve it. I was told I would never walk I was told I should probably just pick out a wheelchair and learn to write with my left hand. I chose to not let anyone but myself write my story for me. If I wasn’t going to walk again it was because I did absolutely everything and emptied all the tanks.

I feel like this might have been long winded and all over the place but I hope I can get the point across that mindset is everything! Sometimes we need someone to show us the hero inside of us! Its okay to ask for help, it is okay to feel vulnerable and it is okay to let people in when you need them the most!

Check this pod cast out: http://www.brucelee.com/podcast-blog/2016/11/2/17-affirmations-part-3-willpower

P.S. Manny if your reading this….THANK YOU SO MUCH for helping me find myself and my willpower to overcome everything.

Stu if you read this…thank you for bringing me coffee every day and sitting with me and bringing Shilo to visit!

Laurel, thank you for coming up to the hospital every day, for packing my room up, for helping me move, for advocating for me with the doctors, for doing puzzles with me to distract me, for letting me cry when I needed to cry, and for dealing with my stubborn angry sad happy mood swinging life.