All our lives we strive for success and usually only get praised when we achieve the ultimate goal but what about the hundred steps you took before that ultimate goal!

For years we have been praised for taking our first steps, passing a test, graduating school, scoring our first goal, getting our first car, buying a house and on and on and on. Each of these things are AWESOME and should be celebrated but what about all that time you spent figuring out how to take your first steps, the hours of studying and tears it took to pass that test and graduate school, to the hours and hours practice your shot against the garage door, to all the small financial gains you made in order to buy that first car or the dream home!

In a life of fast pace and ultimate goals we should all take the time to step back and cheer on the small successes we do along the way! It is okay to get excited before the ultimate road and it is okay to celebrate the small victories. If we wait forever for the ultimate goal to come we may have lost our way. Sometimes it could take years to get to the point where you have reached your ultimate goal and it could be extremely frustrating!

For example, my hand and wrist have been not completely functional for the past 19 almost 20 months. This at first was extremely frustrating and with some help from those around me I have been able to celebrate the small victories. If I had sat back and decided I wouldn’t celebrate until it was fully functional I would be waiting a really long time instead through the power of social media I can celebrate the small goals. The day I took the brace off, the day my fingers slowly started to move, by shaking hands after my training sessions instead of high fives because I can let go. By showing everyone I know that I can pass them that cup instead of having them rip it out of my hand for me. All these small achievements do seem small but in the grand scheme of things they are what ultimately make that final goal a reality. Without the sweat and tears of the hard work the final goal will never be achieved.

I challenge you to each day celebrate the small things in life that get you to the big thing in the end. Whether you celebrate being able to get out of bed in the morning, completing that workout you didn’t want to do, doing 1 push up from your toes, or even completing that assignment a few hours early celebrate it all because it will get you where you are going. Be happy and don’t beat yourself up you are awesome and no matter what all those small things will add up to a big thing that we can all celebrate!

Yesterday I celebrated being able to do a push up from the toes for the first time in 9 years! Today I celebrated only hitting snooze once and waking up and getting my work out in! I know that yesterday sounds so much more exciting but I know that getting my work out in and starting my day off will help me to achieve the next goal that much quicker!

SMILE AND DO SOMETHING FOR YOU! CELEBRATE YOU!

and incase you have trouble starting let me help you: you are beautiful! you are amazing! you are incredible at what you do! You can do anything you put your mind to! you will achieve all of your goals and dreams! Just keep going! Never ever  stop!

The Unknown!

In February 2015 I woke up with severe pain in my left eye that did not get better as the day went on. I was eventually told to go to the eye doctor and I assumed I just needed glasses. This is when I was told I had optic neuritis which is an inflammation of the nerve to your eye. It was also when the words Multiple Sclerosis were spoken to me.

My right leg started to go numb. Which had happened before and I tried to make it not a big deal. Eventually I was taken to the hospital and put on some serious steroids that made me so sick!

On March 10^th I woke up completely unable to move my right side of my body but still tried to play it tough. I was taken to the hospital since I could not take care of myself and it was dangerous for me to be left alone. I walked in thinking I would leave. Little did I know that I would never go home. I would stay in the hospital for five weeks and get transferred to a rehabilitation hospital for another five weeks and have to move into a barrier free apartment.

Needless to say the ten weeks in the hospital might have been the biggest ten weeks of my life. I felt every emotion possible. I was scared, I was angry, I was sad, I was determined, I was frustrated, I had some happy moments, but it was the toughest ten weeks of my life.

Firstly, the nurses were amazing! At the beginning of my stay I had student nurses who did an awesome job of making you feel comfortable with having no dignity at all. Having to shower and go to the bathroom with an audience is something I don’t think I ever got used to. I had one nurse in particular who was a fourth year and she went over and above for me on numerous accounts. She took me to my appointments, she held my hand during scary procedures and she told me everything she learned since I am a complete nerd and wanted to keep my education. I had another nurse bring me real coffee and help me finish my homework as typing with one hand and making proper sentences was difficult on all the medication. I had another nurse who I enjoyed making blush as he made it so easy!

The first couple of days were extremely rough and I would not have made it through without Laurel. Laurel is a special lady to me. She is not my mother but has taken me in as her own and can pass as my mother. As far as the hospital was concerned she was my “mother” as I did not want them to kick her out when visiting hours were finished and they also gave her health information to help prepare me for everything that was happening in the hospital. I will forever be thankful and never be able to fully express my thanks and appreciation. I did not tell many people I was in the hospital as it was a scary time and it was frustrating and quite frankly I was embarrassed about being in the hospital and unable to do anything for myself.

Eventually, I started reaching out. Manny who is one of the most amazing people I know was someone I am so glad I reached out to. He had been in a similar situation where he had to stay in a hospital and deal with the reaction of friends and family coming to your bedside and treating you differently. He decorated my room and was a real turning point for me. He gave me a pep talk told me what needed to be done and changed my mindset. Batman was on guard for the rest of the journey and taught me to be my own hero!

The hospital was an interesting place, though. It really shows you who your friends are and brings people into your life that may not necessarily have played a big role in your life previous. One individual in particular brought me coffee each day of the work week and made me feel like a human by telling me stories about what was happened in the real world!

If you ever thought of giving up the hospital was a perfect time to give up! The hospital was a depressing place full of negative minds and sad situations. I did have one amazing roommate that I will never forget. Edy was the most amazing lady I have ever met. She was 99 years old and just had a heart attack and a stroke. She had lived alone up until this point which was amazing. She was the happiest lady ever. She would sing and hit on the nurses which was always entertaining and her daughters were great company.

Once I had been moved to St Joes that was when the real work started. Therapy was 7 days a week about 2-3 hours a day. Since there was nothing else left to do rehabilitation became my life. I had a friend as a rehab assistant which was also awesome because he would let me watch the jays games on the weekend while working out. I was told I would probably not walk out of the hospital and that I should probably pick out my wheel chair. I was determined not to be in a wheelchair as I would not be able to get around the arena very well. When you put your mind to something you can definitely achieve what you want. Although I didn’t walk out of the hospital completely unassisted I did walk on two feet out the door!

The hospital also allowed me to meet many interesting people. Most of my roommates were cool and interesting and I only had trouble with one roommate. Everyone had cool stories and helped passed the time which was ideal. I met a guy who was from my hometown as well which was nice and he always talked about my dad and told stories about his officiating.

Needless to say, the unknown was scary but the learning experience that I obtained was something I will take with me forever. I learned how to become my own hero, and positive thoughts will always make life easier than negative thoughts. I was vulnerable and I cried a lot but I can say that I was stronger after my stay than I was when I went in.

Always remember: that it is okay to be scared and afraid and cry as long as you are able to brush yourself off and stand back up! Don’t ever give up! No matter what they tell you. The power of your mind is so much stronger than what the doctors may be able to tell you. Giving up is never an option when it comes to life. You got to push yourself and believe in yourself! Becoming a person with a disability is not something that I feel limits me. My thoughts about being someone with a disability did limit me at first but when I came to realize that even if I had to modify things my life could go on and I would do whatever I wanted. Whether that be modifying how to work out at the gym, playing sledge hockey instead of skating, and taking breaks when before I may not have. It may not be the prettiest but one thing I can guarantee you is that I will never give up and I don’t want you to either!

Reticular activating system

What does this mean?

In short, it is the mind’s ability to believe what you constantly tell it to believe. For example, if you constantly tell yourself you cannot do something eventually your mind will believe that you cannot do it!

Throughout our lives, we are constantly told the things we need to work on or fix whether it be a mark on a math exam or a coach at practice showing you how to fix your shot. Positive reinforcement sometimes gets brushed off to the side or a more general good job after a practice. If we change our mindset to a more positive attitude and constantly tell ourselves we can do something, that we enjoy what we are doing our reticular activating system will begin to believe those thoughts!

My challenge to you is to try and change your mindset and be positive to yourself. In order to improve our lives we have to start with self-love.

Some of the things I use are the famous quote of “never give up”. Every day I walk around with this quote on my shoulder and constantly have to tell myself that I can do it that I will not give up. This is important, mindset to get into because if we start to believe that we can’t do something our bodies will not finish what we started. So if you are starting a workout plan tell yourself you will not give up. You will do great and that you can do this. Even if before every set you have to tell yourself you can do it and that you only have to do one more you will find that that set is easier than constantly telling yourself “I cannot do this, this is too hard”. “I rock these squats” “I am strong” sounds way better than “squats suck” and “I am too weak to do one more rep”

One more example: I am a strong independent woman

Believing in yourself apart from everyone else is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Being able to say that I can achieve my goals and dreams myself if something that I am proud of. I do not mean that I do everything alone, I am saying that I can function myself. Sometimes we end up in a cycle of being dependent on other people and begin to have a sense of reliance. What I want you to believe is that you can get through all that life sends your way because you are strong! Friends, family, significant others are there to support you and encourage you through those times but deep down you need to believe in yourself and know that you can get through it all.

One thing I learned was that sometimes the people you think will be there for you are not always there when you need them the most. Understanding that you are strong enough to tackle the world is the first step in overcoming life’s challenges! Please if you follow my journey that begins now start with believing in yourself and changing your beliefs in yourself. #selflove #positivethoughts